Marriage at the End

When someone asked me recently if I believed in marriage I had to pause and think about it. If you have known me for a while, you know that I rarely have a straight answer due to the fact that there are many aspects to all things. Because marriage is a lot more complicated once you have been part of one, I had to think twice as long, actually still thinking about it.

I believe that two people can live together and be each other's best friend, love each other everyday, be loyal and considerate. Essentially happy, enriching each other's lives for a very long time. There shall be disagreements, individuality, quirky things that the other one can't understand. There could be watching each other grow older, some be ill, some recover. Probably there would be hot times and cold times, ups and downs, hopefully the ups will be higher than the downs can be low. The main ingredients would appear to be a strong friendship, openness and a positive attitude. Yes, sex too.

What I don't believe is that you can call it in advance. There is no way to know how we will change, where life will take us, next month, next year, let alone the rest of our lives. We make choices everyday and feel that we have control, but sometimes life chooses us for something unexpected. There might be a lesson that we must learn alone, a path that does not suit the other person.

With marriage we are going on faith that we can stick to a relationship through thick and thin forever, based on what we feel or think at a very specific moment. The almighty love, the one that feels like it will last forever, is probably what changes the quickest, all of the sudden we find ourselves wondering "where did the freaking thing go?, it was just here!" I'm afraid I have no better answer than "where all lost socks go."

Saying all this, if you are married, a believer in getting hitched forever, please disregard my rant. Power on! I will be the first to support your efforts, cheer you on and lend you an ear for when you need to. It's a sincere offer, in case there are cynical people lurking.

I won't get married again, but because by saying that I'd be contradicting my own premise of finding flaws in calling things in advance. I'd say that if it happens it might go something like "Cicero*, my love, can you believe we've been together for 30 years? how about we celebrate by getting married?"

It's better that way.  I can also assure you that I won't be dissapointed if 30 years down the track my 4yo is not a paleonthologist.

xx
Evelia

*Name has been changed to protect the unknown hypothetical husband