Episode 2 - The Ego and me

"Whatever the ego seeks and gets attached to are substitutes for the Being that it cannot feel. You can value and care for things, but whenever you get attached yourself to them, you will know it's the ego. And you are never really attached to a thing but to a thought that has ' I ', 'me; or 'mine' in it." - Eckhart Tolle

It has taken me a few days to digest this concept, and I suspect that it takes a life time to work with this particular notion, in the world where we exist. 

As I close my eyes thinking of what I am going to type next, the thought of letting go of material things seems doable; I don't feel attached strongly to any object. Objects come and go, and let's face it, most of them break or go out of fashion, even the expensive, or those that where once "state of the art". 

Am I attached to "my ideas"?, well, I consider myself fairly open minded, willing to listen and genuinely consider all points of view. I have no interest in convincing people to think the way I do, although it is kind of cool when they do. All of the sudden, I am feeling rather unattached, light headed even. I suspect that there is more to ego and me, where has it gone and attached itself?

Going a bit further, I'd have to say that the idea of not having a place to live that is safe and relatively warm, as well a source of income, would make me seriously doubt the feelings of detachment that I just had a minute ago. People losing everything isn't a rare occurrence, we know that there are some going through it right now. Detachment seems then, relative to how much we already have.

What about inmaterial things, like health, looks, abilities, roles in life, careers, or even way we want to be perceived? the common themes are that: a.) they can be things we identify with, and that potentially fill us with a sense of pride and increase our self-value, our ego; and b.)  they all change.

We assume them as part of us and if successful we want to permanently attach ourselves to them. In this world, all these things help us fit in, to initiate a conversation, to gain status within a certain group. I recently heard two gentlemen conversing, it sounded as if they had just met. The older one was saying how he married into a family that owns a very famous football club in Europe, it made me smile. I imagined him telling the same introductory line 50 years ago.

If there is anything that makes us feel less for not having it, there's ego attaching itself. Ego makes us feel entitled to something, material or not, and when we cannot reach it or lose it, we suffer. In our suffering we waste time which we could be using to move into a different direction, or just be where we are. Ego is part of us but not all of what we are. 

Even with all our credentials out on the table, who hasn't felt that there is more to us? If only we could put our finger on it. That's what I'm trying to get to.

à bientôt

Ève